Breakups can be tough.
Even in a best-case scenario where both parties are totally amicable and on the same page, it’s hard.
But some people are really bad at breakups.
A recent AskReddit thread asked people to share the stupidest reasons they’d ever been broken up with.
Their answers are almost unbelievable.
You’re gonna live forever.
I dated a girl for one day. She broke up with me because in her words I was immortal.
I’m fairly certain she was going for immoral, but hey you take what you can get . –furiousdanny
Me and this girl that I had never met before were waiting at the bus stop, and we got to talking, and everything was going pretty well .
I’m fairly sure I was even close to getting her number, but apparently, she was SUPER into astrology, and when she found out I was a Scorpio she stopped talking to me and walked away.
She purposefully missed her bus to get away from me like holy sh* t, female . –ScatMan9 7
The other woman.
In high school, she broke up with me because she saw me kiss another girl on the cheek . It was my mom’s cheek I kissed . –SecondUsernameChoice
She gratified someone that she immediately insured herself marrying . A month after we broke up she moved in different regions of the country, got married, called me to tell me she made a mistake, got divorced, moved back home, got pregnant and then got married again .
Her Current age: 22 –Abtino1 1
This next breakup story is all kinds of petty.
My best friend’s mother broke up with a boy in high school because he feed an egg salad sandwich and she doesn’t like them .
A guy broke up with me that I wasn’t aware of dating. We had dinner once.
We spoke a handful of times via text but very short messages.
Out of the blue, after a few months, I get a long message telling me he has to break up with me.
We were both in our late 30′ s. –MalinaRaven
Teens these days.
My first-ever girlfriend broke up with me by note, expressed the view that since we both didn’t have telephones, our relationship didn’t really count.
You bet I cried . –ScaredSituation
Who’s the real winner here?
I was relieved after the initial shock.
She was apparently batty, and I never knew . –NavyDragons
Whatever. Little spoon is the best spoon.
I liked to be the big spoon, and he told me I was questioning his manhood .
We all have weird dreamings sometimes.
But this next person has a dream to blame for their breakup!
It was just a dream.
She broke up with me for something that I did in her dream .
This is a total power move.
I broke up with my HS girlfriend because she maintained employing” Well then maybe we should just break up !”
Every day we argued . Finally she did it when I said I didn’t like Panic! At The Disco so I just said ” OK” and hung up the phone . –lordchankaknowsall
I’m sure he’s famous now.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I got an offer from a better university than him.
He insisted it wasn’t fair to him and he could have gone to the same one if he hadn’t followed his passion for music . –naixi1 23
That’s* definitely* going to happen.
She broke up with me at 2 in the morning . Her reason was that one of her favorite singers was coming in for a concert and she was trying to meet him and have him fall in love with her . –illogicalfuturity
Well, which is it?
Went out with a girl in school, puppy love kind stuff in year 7. Anyway, about 4 months into going out I kissed her.
She broke up with me via text saying ” The relationship was moving too fast .”
About 2 years, subsequently we start going out again.
Yay me. But whenever we hang out, one of her friends is with us and is style WAY too into the idea of “us” so I couldn’t flirt or compliment or kiss without this little drama queen being all” Kiss! Kiss! Kiss !” She eventually violates up with me( again !) saying ” The relationship is moving too slow .” –JammeyBee
This next story is for all you cat devotees out there.
It’s me or the cat.
My ex was allergic to cats. My roommates had cats.
She dealt with it for a while until one day she blew up about them and gave me an ultimatum. I get rid of MY ROOMMATES’ CATS, or she strolls.
We now have another cat . –systemofaDON
I had person break up with me because I depicted her too many memes .
At least you had a Valentine’s date!
I took my( ex) girlfriend to the science museum for her birthday which is coincidentally on Valentine’s day.
Turns out she’s not that big a fan of science as I guessed.
Transgressed up the next day . –OwenMilloy
My ex broke up with his then-girlfriend( one of my friends)” because she didn’t wear enough makeup .”
At least you were right!
3rd-grade bestie: We had a huge fight over whether a tomato was a fruit or a vegetable . I was on the fruit side . –Wang3 5
Share this with someone who has a weird breakup narrative!