6 Video Game Feats So Amazing They Construct You Question Reality

When we think of the most creative thing we’ve done in a video game, it’s either drawing a penis with bullets in Call Of Duty or calling someone a penis in Call of Duty . But maybe you’re more intellectual, and instead fostered a thriving penis neighborhood in Cities: Skylines .

Paradox Interactive The people there seem very happy.

Regardless, while the rest of us were attaining dick gags out of gunfights and zoning laws, more creative gamers were doing some truly amazing things. For instance …

6

Someone Remade Pokemon Red … Inside Minecraft

You might have played Pokemon Red . It’s a little-known, underrated gem about small children combating a terrorist cell with animal slaves that only sold about five million transcripts . Here’s the title screen to jog your memory.

MrSquishy/ Nintendo/ Mojang And like that, 20 years of sobriety down the drain.

But oh, that screenshot wasn’t taken on a Game Boy. Every pixel on that is made out of Minecraft blocks, being processed by a computer constructed out of Minecraft blocks. As in, you enter a Minecraft server, and inside it is a giant Game Boy, with which your character can play a version of Pokemon Red that is, for all intents and purposes, exactly like the original. And it’s not some crazy mod or hack — perfectly everything required to play it exists within the game world itself.

This marvel of video game architecture contains over 357,000 hand-placed command blocks. They work together to control the textures on the “Game Boy” you’re playing to constantly update a series of overlapping textures, giving the impression of a screen. For instance, one specific command block might test whether a player has inputted a command to move upwards. If the government had, the command block will trigger a series of other command blocks that change the textures on the in-game “screen” you’re looking at, attaining it appear as though your character has moved upwards. It’s programming through architecture instead of code, and the scale of it is unbelievable. Here’s what it looks like when you zoom out 😛 TAGEND

MrSquishy/ Nintendo/ Mojang “On this episode of Fixer Upper , Chip and Joanna take on their dorkiest client yet.”

And all those tens of thousands of blocks painstakingly stacked into a giant microchip somehow work together to create this 😛 TAGEND

MrSquishy/ Nintendo/ Mojang And you spent your time playing Pokemon Go , like an idiot.

The creator, who goes by the name Mr. Squishy, did this all with nothing more than a transcript of Minecraft , a downloadable resource pack, an Excel spreadsheet, and A LOT of hour. Pokemon Red ‘s original code wasn’t copied and pasted, but recreated through intuition and guesswork, brick by brick. It even recreates some of the game’s iconic glitches and glitches. This obscene accomplishment of human ingenuity required Mr. Squishy’s in-game avatar to walk the equivalent of 1,760 miles. So if you’re still on the fence about whether or not we live in a simulation, remember that there are now characters in video games who have no idea they’re being controlled by characters in video games who have no idea they’re being controlled by you.

5

Someone Induced A Game About Jumping Dirt Bikes Into A Survival Horror Experience

Trials Fusion is about racing dirt bikes through obnoxiously unlikely loops-the-loops and jumps. You carefully aim the front of your motorcycle to line up with ramps, and most people would agree that we’ve already fully explained the game.

Ubisoft It’s a lot of this, over and over and over until you get it exactly right.

The point is, it’s not a complicated game, and it’s not even close to a survival horror first-person shooter about killing waves of cyborg zombies. So it was strange when someone used the game’s way creator to make exactly that.

Pneumatic Bog4 84/ Ubisoft Also basically a glorified Flash game.

Without outside tools or third-party software, some mad genius used the way creator to completely change the genre. To clarify, this is Trials Fusion 😛 TAGEND

Ubisoft “Wheeeeeee! “

And somehow, this is also Trials Fusion 😛 TAGEND

Pneumatic Bog4 84/ Ubisoft “Wheeeeeeoooooa what the hell? “

Same game. No mods. And to further clarify, this way inventor doesn’t precisely have a “change this whole fucking thing to a different game” button. You can see footage of it here — at first glance, it just seems to be a very robust ramp-placing tool.

The “track” is a full-featured, faithful homage to Call Of Duty ‘s infamous zombie mode, and it includes 18 unique weapons, eight perks, rudimentary AI for the zombies, and even a mystery box. If you own Trials Fusion , you can play it for yourself by searching for “COD Zombies Polar Darkness” within the user-created maps. It virtually seems like painting the Mona Lisa with macaroni and cheese, but it’s actually closer to making a working Terminator robot out of Mona Lisa s.

Put simply, it works by manipulating the game’s event system to stimulate the camera your bitch. A “trigger” is generated that flames every frame, and that trigger is linked to an event that sets the camera to a certain position( head height) and slant, depending on button inputs( allowing you look around ). The whole thing is essentially one huge, insanely complex cutscene constantly being edited in real hour by the person playing video games. The Trials Fusion level editor is weirdly powerful, and people have even used it to create a rudimentary version of Minecraft . So again, to those of you who think we’re not living in a simulation: You can now play a level in a dirt bike video game that recreates Minecraft , a game in which you can recreate Pokemon , putting you now four or five layers of abstraction away from current realities you currently think of as real.

4

Someone Beat Super Mario 64 Without Jumping

If there’s one feature that’s universal in platforming games, it’s jumping. How else are you going to get between two platforms or murder a turtle? Well, if you’re Scott Buchanan, you get between two platforms by sliding, punching, kicking, glitching, or ricochetting off foes — absolutely anything but jumping. How’d he pull this off? Well, first Scott recorded and noted almost every aspect of the game, generating countless documents to figure out how he could do this insane thing for no apparent reason. It’s truly a heroic level of lunatic obsession.

The amount of detail and accuracy necessary to complete these tasks without jumping is unbelievable, and a stage that takes two minutes to complete could take over two weeks of meticulous planning to get right. For example, in one world, he figured out that the depth of the water was determined by a “signed integer, stored using two’s complement notation, ” which sounds like utter nonsense to anyone without a PhD in Super Mario , but essentially means that if the water level rises one unit above its maximum, it cycles back around and becomes the minimum value. So if you continuously create the water level and reload the different levels, you can trick video games into resetting, and thus navigate heights use water. It’s the kind of achievement that induces you worry what would happen if such a mind were to be used for evil.

All that forethought and preparation leads to a seriously strange run-through.

So there you go: If your A button stops running, you can still beat this level … if you have 11 hours .

Here’s another bizarre solution to this completely manufactured problem, wherein Scott uses the momentum Mario gains from being scorched by lava to launch himself places that would normally require him to jump.

“Why yes, I did access that turtle shell block without jumping. Ladies.”

He completed one level without pressing ANY buttons, solely using momentum, green shells, and environmental hazards to both navigate and kill enemies.

If you can’t induce Mario suddenly launch himself backwards at the speed of light, what are you even doing ?

To ruin the fun a little, this was all achieved as a Tool-Assisted Speedrun( TAS ), entailing some of the gameplay you’re watching was performed by a machine following a series of predetermined commands. Humans simply don’t have the reaction time needed to complete some of the frame-by-frame inputs necessary. Sure, a human had to figure out how to do it all in the first place, and that required countless hours of work, but it’s still a bit of an asterisk on the end of this Fucking Ridiculous Mario Achievement Award.

Sam Wooley To put it into view, heres one of the spreadsheets he had to stimulate to complete these runs.

If you’d like to learn more( and who wouldn’t ?), here’s a gallery of all the math needed to complete a single 5.4 -hour run. Examine it well, and maybe one day you can be the first person to beat Mario 64 without pressing left, or perhaps from the centres of 10,000 bees. The point is, you can only move sideways from this level of madnes; you can’t top it.

3

Someone Meticulously Recreated 1920 s Berlin In Second Life

Second Life is an online virtual world where players can role-play as anyone they like! Which entails it’s plainly filled to the brim with kinky sex stuff, like the barbarian fucking community we linked to in the midst of this sentence. Enjoy.

Once you filter out the smut, the minuscule quantity of remaining content shows you how creative people can get inside virtual spaces. There’s a reason a game released in 2003 still considers over 600,000 unique monthly guests and boastings an estimated GDP of $500 million. There’s the fascinating story of the rise and fall of the world’s first virtual Duran Duran theme park. And if genre-defining synth pop bands aren’t your thing, you can visit Genome Island, the world’s first virtual genetics laboratory!

This is the sort of stuff Second Life was built for. But there’s one experience it provides that is arguably stranger than all others: a historically accurate recreation of 1920 s Berlin. The 1920 s Berlin Project was created by Jo Yardley, and contains exact replicas of numerous buildings and landmarks, including the Zum Nubbaum inn and the Brandenburg Gate. Guests must adhere to strict rules, such as wearing merely period-appropriate clothing on their avatars, so as not to break the historical immersion. Yes, in a world in which you can do sort of anything, some people have chosen to be early 20 th-century German pedestrians.

Jo Yardley/ Linden Lab Millennials have killed tourism now too !?

While visiting the historically accurate locations with historically accurate role-players, you can watch period-authentic movies in the virtual theater. You can go socialize at a club and listen to that newfangled “jazz” stuff everyone’s raving about! You can even go to the Cabaret Eldorado, based on the real historical club which catered to Germany’s gay and cross-dressing community until it was forcibly closed in the 1930 s.

Jo Yardley/ Linden Lab Finally, a game for cross-dressing 118 -year-old Germans trying to relive their youth!

2

Someone Made A Ride In Planet Coaster That Reenacts The Entirety Of Aliens

If you’ve ever wanted to build your own theme park, Planet Coaster is one of several hundred games that let your dreaming come true! A spiritual successor to RollerCoaster Tycoon , it truly gives you the full park experience. You construct rides, hire mascots, and charge outrageous prices for an overcooked burger — it’s got everything. And if you’re a YouTuber named Hin Nya, it even lets you recreate the authentic experience of the 1986 film Aliens .

Hin Nya’s incredible 15 -minute coaster takes you through all the major plot beats of the film, and you can watch it here.

Of course, you might think it’s absurd to watch a 15 -minute video of a nonexistent roller coaster based on a sci-fi movie from the 1980 s, and perhaps you’re right. You might think that merely a genuinely sad or lonely person, such as an internet comedy writer, would do something like that. And maybe you’re right again, you effortlessly cool person. So before you get back to pleasuring underwear models, here’s a quick summing-up of the video 😛 TAGEND

The ride opens in space, recreating the exterior establishing shots of the original film.

Hin Nya/ Frontier Developments “It’s Jaws in space on a roller coaster.”

That’s followed by Ripley’s slow descent to the colony of Hadley’s Hope.

Hin Nya/ Frontier Developments Bill Paxton quotes are encouraged but not required.

After a few minutes of tense exploration, Xenomorphs attack! It’s not as terrifying on a roller coaster, but with how goddamn long you’ve been on the ride, there’s a good chance you’re peeing yourself anyway.

Hin Nya/ Frontier Developments And covering your mouth, if you know what’s good for you.

Later, you enter the Xenomorph Queen’s lair, complete with her massive clutch of eggs. By this phase, the journey is less about space horror than it is about the spectacle of squandered time, both by the inventor of this world and by you, the person riding a fake roller coaster through it.

Hin Nya/ Frontier Developments “We literally have Aliens right here on Blu-ray.”
“Nah, I’m good.”

This intense sequence ends with you in orbit, witnessing the nuclear explosion that wipes out the colony. Yes, it was long and almost certainly the work of a madman, but it was a fully realized artistic achievement utilizing the medium of roller coaster.

Hin Nya/ Frontier Developments “If I have watched further, it is because I have stood on the shoulders of giant nerds.”

It’s important to bear in the mind that this isn’t simply a way “re going through” a series of carefully placed dioramas. This is a fully immersive experience, complete with carefully placed speakers emitting music, dialog, and sound effects. The ride also includes timed pyrotechnic showings, animatronic aliens, moving rats, and even animated computer displays built specifically for the ride.

To put it in context, this is what Planet Coaster looks like when a normal person makes a ride.

In other words, this is like building the Sydney Opera House by chasing cats through a hardware store.

1

The Super Mario Maker Arms Race That Defies Human Capability

Super Mario Maker lets users generate their own Mario levels. You set the coins and blocks where you like them, maybe add a Goomba or a Koopa … it’s cute fun! And while 99 percent of user-generated levels are basic platforming with the occasional surreal gag, a very small subset of the community has used this tool to challenge one another to create the hardest levels possible. Now, Super Mario Maker requires you to successfully complete your own level before you can upload it, so you know for sure that every level you see is technically possible to beat. Technically .

It all started with a level named “Pit of Panga: P-Break, ” which took its own inventor five hours to create and nine hours to beat. It’s a monstrosity of impossible bullshit that you can watch here.

As of today, players have a 0.02 percentage success rate of clearing it. A month after its release, it had been attempted 1.7 million times, and merely cleared 41 hours. But it seems that was too easy. The same creator, PangaeaPanga, uploaded an even harder level named “Pit of Panga: U-Break.” This time it took him 11 hours to create and 39 hours to beat. That’s a workweek. To beat a video game level he designed himself. And as of today, it has 358 successful clears … out of a total of more than 4.7 million attempts.

“Mr Carl’s Wild Ride” currently has 16 successful completions out of over 1.5 million tries. That’s approximately a 0.001 percentage chance of success. The inventor, CarlSagan4 2( presumably no relation ), was so confident about the difficulty of his course that he promised a $50 bounty to the first person to complete it. It doesn’t sound like much, but that’s endlessly more than you ordinarily get paid for playing Super Mario Brothers .

Twitch streamer Francis Travers spent over 650 hours creating a course so stupidly hard that he hasn’t even been able to beat it himself. As of his last interview, he claimed to be able to complete every individual part of the course, but not all in sequence. He even released a trailer 😛 TAGEND

So from what we can tell, we’re probably in a simulation, and the simulations within our simulation are becoming strong enough to defeat us. Sleep well!

Want to design your own games? Couldn’t hurt to learn some Programming For Dummies . Support Cracked’s journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you . For more, check out The 5 Most Insane Things Ever Accomplished In A Video Game and 7 Video Games People Are Playing In Awesomely Creative Ways .

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